forwhateveryouwant:

The Batfam has a no-nonsense reputation to uphold when the other superheroes are involved.

You know what that means?

Straight-face contests. The first one to smile or laugh loses.

Just imagine Dick and Stephanie glaring at each other, trying not to laugh as Jason, Duke, and Tim crack jokes, making weird noises, doing anything to cause a reaction.

Jason: hey, Dickie. Did I ever tell you about the time I caught Bruce doing his own laundry? Haven’t you ever wondered why there’s a fire hydrant next to the dryer machine now? I’ll set the scene. Bruce is standing in the laundry room with a confused expression, holding a jug of bleach, and wearing nothing but minion boxers…

Tim: [singing ke$ha at in a variety of funny voices]

Duke: [acts out scenes from the Princess Bride]

Tim: [shows them a Photoshopped picture of Batman in a Superman bikini top]

Then Damian walks in, cool as a cucumber

Damian: why are y’all just standing around?

Duke: did- did you just say “y’all?”

Dick & Steph: [trying hard not to smile]

Damian: don’t be ridiculous of course not

Damian: [Gives Stephanie a phone] I borrowed this from you earlier…… .. I’m curious, Brown, what does “vore” mean, exactly?

Dick and Steph: [internally screaming]

Tim: vore? It means… um…

Jason: it’s a slang term for “love”

Damian: i see. So one could say “i vore you” instead of “i love you?”

Tim: actually it’s used in a more romantic context like “vore, without you, is meaningless”

Damian: interesting. Hmm. I wonder if Jon has heard of this before

Tim: idk, i guess you’ll have to ask him

Damian [nods seriously and leaves]

Duke [in a passionate voice]: Dick, without you, vore is meaningless.

[Both Stephanie and Dick bust out laughing at the same time]

Dick: but srsly who’s gonna tell him what that really means