my dad: a cryptid
-once woke me up by kicking my bed really hard until i looked at him and then locked eyes with me, drank an entire cup of coffee without breaking eye contact, and then silently left the room
-wordlessly stuck a picture of justin trudeau on my wall, left if there for three months, and then took it down without explaining himself
-walked into the house and said “is it gonna look funny?” and when i said “what?” he shook his finger at me and walked away
-once before bed came into my room and kissed my forehead, said “no homo,” and left
-once came into my room while brushing his teeth, stared at me for five minutes, gave me a thumbs up and left
-once got upset that there was no bench in a forever 21, said “they’re trying to punish us. for being hetero, probably.”
-almost fell out of a hammock while i was typing this
i went into the kitchen and my dad was eating crackers and he said “theres nothing to see here.”
me: i wanna go see ant-man
my dad: you can’t see him he’s too small
Published
Beautifuldifferences 