blogginghaley:

Tonight was a magical night because I got to hear John Mulaney perform his Salt and Pepper Diner bit. Live. In Chicago. 

It was a lot like the version we have all come to know and love, except with bonus director’s commentary. So here is some new information (to enhance your salt and pepper cred):

• The whole thing took place at the tragically now closed Salt and Pepper Diner. NOT THE ONE ON CLARK. The one on Lincoln and Wrightwood. 
• They smoked a lot there because they were bad kids
• He added last names to prove that other John was not just him, HE HAS FRIENDS OKAY
• So yes, John was with John but their best friend was also named John and one time the three Johns were stopped by the cops because they were bad kids doing bad things and the cops were like, “Alright, kid, what’s your name?” So John says, “John.” And then the other John says, “John.” And by the time they got to the last John the cops were like “IF you FUckinG SaY jOHn I SweAr tO GaWD.”
• They did not get kicked out of the Salt and Pepper Diner on that iconic day. 
• They DID get kicked out of the Salt and Pepper Diner their junior year when they decided to just light up a joint sitting in one of the booths. And the waitress walked over, exasperated, and said, “GUYSSSSS” and they were not welcome back.