patron-saint-of-smart-asses:

low-budget-mulan:

pkslider:

slavery:

How does anyone hate kids they are so funny I sold tickets to incredibles to this little girl and her mom and she’s like mom are we sitting next to each other and the moms like ya and the kid screamed YES so loud it broke my ears

The other day I was bringing an older gentleman up the hill in a golf cart and we drove past this huge YMCA group of kids like 100 kids

and driving past the first chunk like 10 of them yelled out “let me on” in unison and then since I’m driving so slowly to be safe, halfway in some kid leaned up and said “do you play fortnite” and I told him I played a little and he just pointed and shouted “THIS GUY PLAYS FORTNITE” and then like 20 kids started talking to me all at once about fortnite

A kid asked me if I lived in the ambulance. I said yes.

The hero we deserve

dykebarry:

bwitiye:

frodobell:

sorry, liberals, there’s only 0 genders

theres one gender and we have to share

mom says it’s my turn on the gender

idontreallyknowwhatkindagirliam:

mollymaukderollo:

andthisisabitofboth:

disneyprinceronweasley:

disneyprinceronweasley:

i wonder when harry told ron and hermione that the dursleys used to make him live under the stairs

ron: i’m sorry you have to share my room we don’t have much space

harry: that’s fine i used to sleep under the stairs at the dursleys

ron: you slept where now?

*cut to the whole Weasley family dog piling on Ron to prevent him from somehow storming to Privet Drive to kick some ass*

Bold of you to assume they would stop him instead of join in

Harry Potter and the Time He Had To Stop A Family Of Nine Wizards From Storming Into A Muggle Neighbourhood To Kill His Legal Guardians

those:

i wanted to make my life more difficult