My favorite thing is that Europe is spooky because itâs old and America is spooky because itâs big
âThe difference between America and England is that Americans think 100 years is a long time, while the English think 100 miles is a long way.â âEarle Hitchner
A fave of mine was always the american tales where people freaked out because âsomeone died in this houseâ and all the europeans would go ââŚYes? That would be pretty much every house over 40 years old.â
ââŚMy school is older than your entire town.â
âSorry, you think *how far* is okay to travel for a shopping trip?â
*American looks up at the beams in a country pub* âUh, this place has woodworm, isnât that a bit unsafe?â âEh, the woodwormâs 400 years old, itâs holding those beams together.â
A few years ago when I was in college I did a summer program at Cambridge aimed specifically at Americans and Canadians, and my year it was all Americans and one Australian. We ended the program with a week in Wessex, and on the last day as we all piled onto the bus in Salisbury (or Bath? I canât remember), the professors went to the front to warn us that we wouldnât be making any stops unless absolutely necessary. Weâre headed to Heathrow to drop off anyone flying off the same day, then back to Cambridge.
âAll right, itâs going to be a long bus ride, so make sure youâre prepared for that.â
We all brace ourselves. A long bus ride? How long? Weâre Americans; a long bus ride for us is a minimum of six hours with the double digits perfectly plausible. We can handle a twelve hour bus ride as long as we get a bathroom break.
The answer.  âTwo hours.â
Oh.
English people trying to travel around Australia and wildly underestimating distance are my favourite thing
a tour guide in France told my school group that a particular cathedral wouldnât interest us much because âitâs not very old; only from the early 1600sâ
to which we had to respond that it was still older than the oldest surviving European-style buildings in our country
China is both old and big. I had some Chinese colleagues over; we were discussing whether they wanted to see the Vasa ship (hugely expensive war ship which sank on itâs maiden voyage after 12 min). They asked if it was old, I said ânot THAT oldâ (bearing in mind they were Chinese) âitâs from the 1500s.â To my surprise they still looked impressed, nodding enthusiatically. Then I realised Iâd forgotten something: ââŚI mean itâs from the 1500s AFTER the birth of Christâ and they went âoh, AFTERâŚâ.
My dadâs favorite quote from various tours in Italy was âPay no attention to the tower â it was a [scornful tone] tenth century addition.â
My last boss was Chinese, and she said when her parents came to visit her from Beijing they pronounced Chicago âA very nice village.âÂ
why does anyone in Gotham even bother doing crime like you KNOW the second you leave the bank with the money you just stole Bruce Wayne is gonna be chilling on a bench on the other side of the street in his bat fursuit like âhey bitch u better not be breaking the lawâ
because batman never bothered attacking the roots of social problems
you know what⌠youâre right call him out!!
Wayne Enterprises has a jobs program for those who are fresh out of prison.
He routinely takes major villains with mental health issues to an asylum where professionals are there to help.
Or do you just read the fight scenes?
Because
Batman
Never
Bothered
Attacking
The
Roots
Of
Social
Problems
WHAT THE HELL KIND OF BATMAN HAVE YOU BEEN WATCHING?
Fake geeks, I swear to godâŚ
The best part is that most of the lore, especially Batman: The Animated Series, gets to a point in Batmanâs career when everyone asks the question of why someone would rob a bank in Gotham when they know that if they approached Batman, and coincidentally Bruce Wayne, they could get the help they needed.
Thatâs the whole point of Batman. Granted there have been modernized adaptations that paint him out to be nothing more than a growling, punching, antihero. But nobody ever said those adaptations were canon or even good. The original Batman comics, most of the newer comics, the Animated Series, the animated spinoffs, even the Arkham video games all operate under the lore that Batman does everything within his power to help as many villains as he can, even if it means going against cops, politicians, etc. Thatâs what originally made him the vigilante. He went against the social norms. He did everything that a hero shouldnât do, not in a murderous way, but in a taking-sides way. Every other hero swoops in to save the corrupt politician from the criminal. Batman swoops in to save the criminal from the corrupt politician.Â
I actually never thought about this. And I realized that unlike other heroes who just want to see their antagonist gone and really donât care about nothing but killing them and stopping them, Batman wants to try and help them out. When people would normally push for a serial killer to be sentenced to death, a person could want that killer to be in rehabilitation. This makes me like Batman a lot more.
Plans to fly a giant inflatable figure depicting Donald Trump as a baby over London during the US presidentâs visit have been approved.
Mr Trump is due to meet Theresa May at 10 Downing Street next Friday.
Campaigners raised almost ÂŁ18,000 for the helium-filled six-metre high figure, which they said reflects Mr Trumpâs character as an âangry baby with a fragile ego and tiny handsâ.
London Mayor Sadiq Khan gave permission for the balloon to fly.
The White House has been approached for comment.
On Twitter former UKIP leader Nigel Farage said the plan was âthe biggest insult to a sitting US President everâ.
Leo Murray, who is behind the crowdfunded idea, said: â[Mr Trump] really seems to hate it when people make fun of him.
âSo when he visits the UK on Friday, we want to make sure he knows that all of Britain is looking down on him and laughing at him.
âThatâs why a group of us have chipped in and raised enough money to have a six-metre high blimp made by a professional inflatables company, to be flown in the skies over Parliament Square during Trumpâs visit.â
A statement on behalf of the London mayor said he âsupports the right to peaceful protest and understands that this can take many different formsâ.
After meeting with the organisers of the Trump Baby, Mr Khanâs city operations team gave them permission to âuse Parliament Square Garden as a grounding point for the blimpâ.
Mr Khan and Mr Trump have repeatedly clashed on Twitter, including in the aftermath of the London Bridge attack.
Before the figure can take off, campaigners will also need permission from the National Air Traffic Service (NATS) as the project constitutes a ânon-standard flight in controlled airspaceâ, a spokesperson said.
Because Parliament Square sits within restricted airspace, additional approvals are also needed from the Metropolitan Police.
Max Wakefield, who is one of the people working on the project, said the group is âconfident it will obtain all necessary permitsâ.
He said the initial crowdfunding target was just ÂŁ1,000, but this was reached within 24 hours.
The extra cash will now be used to send the balloon on a âworld tourâ and âhauntâ Mr Trump wherever he goes, he added.
The Met has been approached for a comment.
Well, Himself is the biggest insult to the Presidency in living memory, so stuff it, Nigel Farage.
âThe extra cash will now be used to send the balloon on a âworld tourâ and âhauntâ Mr Trump wherever he goes, he added.â