my parrot is a fucking dumbass with no sense of self-preservation. proof? he got spooked by a pear – by all accounts a green and tasty friend – and flew into a wall to escape, but when greeted with a sink full of soapy boiling water – by all accounts a harmful, bird-killing abyss – he launched himself into it at top speed and cried when I locked him in baby jail to stop him from killing himself.
Please tell your parrot I still love him.
he just threw his seeds all over the carpet and laughed about it so I will not
so I was talking to the polish guy and because I didn’t know how to say ‘I’m going to the shops’ i guessed and said idę na sklepy and he started laughing but didn’t correct me so when it next came up I had to use the same phrase which made him laugh again and I finally asked him today what was the correct way to say it and why did he find it amusing and he said that to him idę na sklepy means kind of ‘I am going to conquer the shops!’ and that he imagined me standing on the shops refusing entry to people because I was controlling the shops and he said the reason he didn’t correct me was because he thought it was an interesting way of saying ‘I’m going to the shops’ and he didn’t want me to stop and that he wanted it to take off in poland
God, listening to John Mulaney talk about doing hard fucking drugs in his youth is like hearing a nun reminisce on her last orgy before she converted. What do you mean you didn’t come out of the womb with a fatherly demeanor and crippling anxiety?
Beautifuldifferences 