hiyokoifish:

hiyokoifish:

hiyokoifish:

gayslurpuff:

me: I’m not susceptible to clickbait
“this abandoned shopping mall is full of thousands of fish”
me: hoooooooghggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhh

o

op w

wheres the link op

thyrell:

a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy:

a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy:

I can’t believe that the government is watching our every move and yet they refused to warn me that I was about to walk into a Panera where THREE of my exes were working together.

Hey, the government? You could’ve texted me. You’ve got GPS; they’ve got their jobs on Facebook; I know you know we dated. You knew, you have the technology, and you just let me walk in there, make eye contact with them, and walk out without ordering anything. Fuck you. I hate this country.

My favourite thing about the tags and replies on this post is that they’re full of people legitimately slut-shaming me for having dated three people who ended up working at the same place. Like I’m some compulsive bread whore. Like I just shoved a whole Panera up my ass one day.

Do straight people not understand the small town phenomena where 1.) there are a maximum of ten LGBT+ people that you’re even vaguely compatible with, and so you all just end up dating each other at one point or another, and 2.) word gets around that the manager of a specific business isn’t a blatant homophobe, and so it ends up becoming staffed entirely by LGBT+ people despite not being an inherently gay establishment? You guys don’t just have, like, that one Taco Bell where everyone is a lesbian?

unrelated question where is this lesbian taco bell

yourplayersaidwhat:

We’re trying to gain the favor of a bloodthirsty warrior queen and our bard has graciously volunteered to do a command performance.

DM: Okay, more than half the kingdom is here, your life is on the line. You’re probably going to die if you get this wrong. Her Majesty the Queen is starring at you with her cold, calculating eyes.

The bard holds her breath and rolls a 20. Cue the nastiest of grins.

DM: Alright what do you d-

Bard: I INVENT 80S MUSIC.

The bard proceeds to secure the Princess’s hand in marriage with a resounding rendition of “Heat of the Moment” by Asia. She is now a national hero. Every time she rolled a nat 20 from then on, she has used an 80s song.