places i’ve been rated by number of worms i saw there
Washington DC: very few worms spotted here. lots of pavement. WA (worm activity) negligible. 1/10
Pittsburgh: didn’t see a single worm here. 0/10
Atlanta: now we’re getting into worm territory! At least one worm found and put into safe hands. medium WA, could have used more outgoing worms. 4/10
Alabama: The only good thing about Alabama is the high worm content. 5.5/10
Washington State: real worm country here, folks! Lots of worms out after a rain for you to rescue and put in soft soil nearby. Extremely high WA (worm activity). Unfortunately sample groups corrupted by high slug population. Still a solid 8/10
Florida: otherwise known as the worm capital of the US, I think it goes without saying that FL is going to be highest on this list. The number of worms here is undeniable, just go out for a walk after a light tropical storm and you’ll see dozens if not hundreds of tiny squirmy lads wriggling around. with easily the highest WA on this list, Florida takes the cake. 10/10 would worm again, but it’s Florida, so at what cost
I regret to inform you that I have made the gravest of errors. Years ago I dated a man who does gay nude modeling as a hobby and posts it on his public instagram. Out of curiosity -nay, hubris, I clicked on one of these nude photographs. Then, the cruel, chaotic universe caused my thumb to click twice. Friends, I accidentally liked my ex boyfriend’s gay nude instagram photo.
The funeral for my pride has been scheduled for tomorrow at noon.
I was waiting for the night bus at 1am the other night, eating fries, when a dude, high as fuck, tried to harass me. It took several “I don’t want to talk to you, please go away” for him to finally move, but I think it helped that another man was giving him the death stare and clicking his tongue at him. He then checked I was okay and whether I knew the guy or not. Good dude.
Shout out also the man who silently switched places with me on another night bus to be a buffer between me and a guy who had threatened me. Thank you
Men: this here? This here is what you need to be doing as allies. The men who harass and insult women are not likely to take our complaints about it seriously. But you, another man, they will listen to.
I was pumping gas at like 10 PM one night, and these bunch of drunk guys came walking up to the gas station, and one of them yelled over to me if I wanted to see his dick. His friend says to him, “You don’t have anything she wants to see.” and apologized. It was pretty awesome.
this is all we want from men. to recognize the wrongs done by other men, and acknowledge it. not give us shitass defense like, “not all men do that”
Feeding your animals (safe) but new-to-them foods is botha great source of enrichment for the and endless hilarity for you. I reccomend green beans because they’re unwieldly for them to eat so its an involved process.
i spent christmas alone while my family got together and fought, and honestly i feel so good about this
i bought myself presents, cooked a big meal, drank wine and watched Home Alone 3 w/ my dog. I don’t feel sorry for myself at all.
meanwhile my sister threatened to disown my dad so he threatened to disown her, while my mom enabled and my other sister downed a bottle of wine to deal.
on the other side of the country, i was busy discovering, to my delight, that the that the 3rd installment of the Home Alone franchise not only stood up to the test of time, but contains some of the best oneliners and comedic timing I have ever seen.
honestly, keep toxic people out of your life. family isn’t everything, and bad family is often worse than no family. don’t be afraid to put in some distance, especially during high stress times like the holidays. you don’t actually owe them anything.
being alone for the holidays is so much better than being with people who make you unhappy.
Beautifuldifferences 