One of the best tips for friendships I’ve ever seen was from a tumblr post, years ago. I don’t recall exactly what it said, but it suggested just… asking what people want from you.
A friend comes to you with a problem? Ask them directly how you can best comfort them.
Do you want my advice or help through action?
Do you want a listening ear to vent to?
Do you want to be comforted with affection?
Do you want to be distracted?
It can seem awkward and clunky, and yeah… sometimes it is. But it’s still friendship, and “awkward and clunky” is often better than incorrectly guessing what they want or need from you. Maybe they don’t actually know what they need, but you can invite them to think about it, and that openness of communication makes it easier for them to say “Actually, no, this isn’t working, I want x instead of y.” And you make the switch! It’s that easy.
I do this with my friends, family and fiance and I promise it makes dealing with situations where someone is hella stressed out SO MUCH EASIER.
Tag: j
no other person on this planet was made for you, they were made for themselves. love is all about choices. no one is going to be perfect for you, and i think we need to stop raising everyone on the belief that someone out there, just one other person in the whole world, was “made for you” because it isn’t true. no one is made for you, besides you. other people belong to themselves. if you want to make it work with someone, it’s about hard work, understanding, compassion, communication, and choice
Beautifuldifferences 