Tag: lmao

agentdalecooper:

agentdalecooper:

today i was talking to my coworker jess and she said to me “i’ve been trying to think of how to tell my husband that i want a horse. i’m really non confrontational and i don’t know how to tell him. like, thanks for the flowers, but i want a horse.” and i was like, “well, you could always send him subliminal messages. like tape pictures of horses all over the walls and stuff” and she gave me this really weird look and was like “i said divorce not horse“ oh my god…

classic material

memequeenjellybean:

Allow me to present my best headcanon.

Damian Wayne absolutely knows more about pop culture than his brothers think.

While it was true he was useless in that department when he first joined them, now not so much. Colin and Jon make sure Damian is kept up on the best references. When they started to show him, he noticed how much Tim and Jason quote vines to each other to tease him.

They weren’t always good jokes but occasionally there were a few where he had to bite back a snicker.

Jon, Colin, and Damian ended up quoting vines to each other regularly, so much so they started to slip out at home.

The first one was while Dick was Batman and they were in the middle of a car chase. “Road work ahead?” He said quietly and then paused, but continued before Dick could answer, “Uh yeah, I sure hope it does.” Dick nearly crashed the Batmobile.

Tim and Jason never believed him until in the middle of sparring with Tim, Damian yelled “YEET” before judo flipping Tim.

batastrophe7:

I feel like one of the biggest misconceptions out there is that all fanfic is written by 12 and 13 year olds

Like the other day I read a fanfic where Jason Todd is remodeling his kitchen and is concerned about wooden countertops because what if you get raw chicken on your wooden countertop?

You think a 13 year old thinks about countertops? Think again my friend that fic was written by an Adult

captainmwai:

harseik:

No more ocean view. >D

I want more of this Bruce Wayne. I want Bruce and Lex to be rivals and Lex has all kinds of evidence that should have led his brilliant mind to immediately finger Bruce as Batman but he’s just such a goddamn looney toon that suspicion never really attaches. Also I’d like to see a Batman that has actually achieved some work-life balance, where he has off hours to basically screw with Lex in extravagant ways, invent useful things, and work the political system in clever ways that gradually turn Gotham into a rival city to Metropolis, cheesing off Supes to no end, which just makes it all the sweeter.

forwhateveryouwant:

Duke: Alright. Pay up.

Steph: What why?

Tim: I bet Duke that he couldn’t convince the public he was Bruce’s biological son.

Duke: Half of them already have theories that Beyonce is my real mother.

Steph: Cool I wish my mom was Beyonce.

Tim: I wish my mom was still alive.

Steph:

Duke:

Tim:

Steph:

Duke: Nice try you still owe me $50.

Tim: dang it