One of the best tips for friendships I’ve ever seen was from a tumblr post, years ago. I don’t recall exactly what it said, but it suggested just… asking what people want from you.
A friend comes to you with a problem? Ask them directly how you can best comfort them.
Do you want my advice or help through action?
Do you want a listening ear to vent to?
Do you want to be comforted with affection?
Do you want to be distracted?
It can seem awkward and clunky, and yeah… sometimes it is. But it’s still friendship, and “awkward and clunky” is often better than incorrectly guessing what they want or need from you. Maybe they don’t actually know what they need, but you can invite them to think about it, and that openness of communication makes it easier for them to say “Actually, no, this isn’t working, I want x instead of y.” And you make the switch! It’s that easy.
I do this with my friends, family and fiance and I promise it makes dealing with situations where someone is hella stressed out SO MUCH EASIER.
I really like the idea of Tim being the true wildcard of the Batfamily. No, he isn’t going to kill anyone or anything like that. But the idea that Tim becomes jaded to the hero lifestyle endlessly amuses me. He’s tired, depressed, no longer the youngest that gets the attention, and he’s far too smart for his own good so he gets bored if he’s not in a state of never-ending worth ethic.
We’ve got a kid who’s insanely Strategic and Practical and Idealistic and Sympathetic and Reliable and Passionate but then some days he’s Too Tired to Care and Doesn’t Give a Fuck. One day: wtf jason no, we’re not gonna blow up a building!! The next day: y’know what? Here’s some matches we’ll blame it on Damian
So, a while back I saw a claim about one of the Robin’s height that really threw me off. My first thought was ‘oh man, really? that Robin was super TINY’ and then a few moment’s later I realized that considering Batman is 188(6′2′’)ish there was no way that Robin could be that height because that would mean that they only came up to his hip, which… we’ve got some small Robin’s but not THAT small. I was pretty curious how tall they actually were so I tried to look it up, but sadly only a characters current stats are available (if even that *cough* Carrie Kelly *cough*). At this point, it’s really bugging me so I decided to look. though a lot of the early comics to try and see if I could figure it out.
ive been reading a book that basically explains how so-called “brain differences” between the genders is the result of gendered socialization and not the cause of it. i honestly expected the book to be very cis-centric but its actually the opposite, the author stresses that testimony from trans ppl is actually indispensable because we’ve, in a sense, “lived both experiences”
more cis feminists should have this mindset
one of the first examples that she uses to introduce her point about how perception by others can shape a person’s performance actually uses a trans woman. it explains that as a certain trans woman became to be seen as a woman more and more frequently, the ppl arond her eventually started viewing her as being ill equipped for tasks that they did not bother her about pre-transition. eventually she even found herself underperforming in these tasks herself.
I knew it was this book before I’d finished reading the first two lines. Honestly this book is indispensible if you want to debunk any gender determinism people claim is science. I can’t recommend it enough.
(Bonus bonus: I am myself a neuroscientist, and the old white men mentioned above – who are not – could not have missed the point harder if they’d actively tried. Which. Maybe?)
shower. not a bath, a shower. use water as hot or cold as u like. u dont even need to wash. just get in under the water and let it run over you for a while. sit on the floor if you gotta.
moisturize everything. use whatever lotion u like. unscented? dollar store lotion? fancy ass 48 hour lotion that makes u smell like a field of wildflowers? use whatever you want, and use it all over.
put on clean, comfortable clothes.
put on ur favorite underwear. cute black lacy panties? those ridiculous boxers u bought last christmas with candy cane hearts on the butt? put em on.
drink cold water. use ice. if u want, add some mint or lemon for an extra boost.
clean something. doesn’t have to be anything big. organize one drawer of ur desk. wash five dirty dishes. do a load of laundry. scrub the bathroom sink.
blast music. listen to something upbeat and dancey and loud, something that’s got lots of energy. sing to it, dance to it, even if you suck at both.
make food. don’t just grab a granola bar to munch. take the time and make food. even if it’s ramen. add something special to it, like a hard boiled egg or some veggies. prepare food, it tastes way better, and you’ll feel like you accomplished something.
make something. write a short story or a poem, draw a picture, color a picture, fold origami, crochet or knit, sculpt something out of clay, anything artistic. even if you don’t think you’re good at it.
go outside. take a walk. sit in the grass. look at the clouds. smell flowers. put your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin.
call someone. call a loved one, a friend, a family member, call a chat service if you have no one else to call. talk to a stranger on the street. have a conversation and listen to someone’s voice. if you can’t, text or email or whatever, just have some social interaction with another person. even if you don’t say much, listen to them.
cuddle your pets if you have them/can cuddle them. take pictures of them. talk to them. tell them how u feel, about your favorite movie, a new game coming out.
Beautifuldifferences 