shit my players say – Beautifuldifferences

yourplayersaidwhat:

Our Druid keeps rolling threes. It doesn’t matter which die he uses or what he’s rolling for, it’s always a disproportionate amount of threes. Finally, the DM decided to do something about it.

Druid: …It’s another three.

DM: Suddenly, a holy light shines down upon you! You feel the presence of a god fill the air, and a booming voice says-

Druid: Wait, what are you doing?

DM: “I am Triad, the God of Threes! I have seen your devout worship, and you have pleased me!!”

[The whole table realizes what’s happening and starts cracking up, while the Druid’s player looks increasingly affronted.]

Druid: Stop it WHY

DM: “I shall grant you a boon, oh faithful servant!”

Druid: STOP IT I HATE THIS

DM: And then he turns your three into a twenty.

Druid: I hate this.