chibinightowl:

I’m trying to get through my prompts! Sorry for the late fill! This one was fun…Not sure how Batfam it is, but it’s got Jason, Tim, and Steph. Enjoy!

~*~*~

Fighting back hoards of people wasn’t exactly an everyday thing for Jason, but it had happened before. Fighting back a hoard of actual, for real, zombies was definitely a first.

“Where is my goddamned flamethrower when I need it?” he muttered, waving around a flashlight and trying to find something flammable. He needed a big boom. Or a big whoosh. There had to be a lawnmower in here. Cemeteries always needed lawnmowers. Lawnmowers meant gas.

And gas was flammable.

Pressed up against the door of the toolshed, Blondie peered out. “Ooh, now there’s an idea.”

“No shit, Sherlock.”

The blonde Batgirl stuck her tongue out at him. “Hey, Oracle,” she said into her comm. “Hood and I stuck in a shed at Potter’s Field and we’re trapped by zombies. Think we could get some backup that has some firepower?”

Jason was hacked into the frequency for a change and he scowled as Barbara laughed.

“Zombies? Are you for real?”

“Yes, there’s motherfucking zombies after us and they’re not anywhere near as handsome as me,” he retorted.

“Most are of the crumbling and falling apart variety,” Stephanie chimed in. “So, about that firepower?”

“I’m on my way,” came Drake’s rather put upon voice. “ETA is five.”

“Best ex-boyfriend ever.” Blondie grinned brightly. “I owe you a latte.”

“You owe me a dozen lattes and I’ve yet to see a single one.”

Jason frowned even more. Why was Babs sending his replacement here? They needed actual firepower, okay, fire, to get rid of these guys. Whatever wannabe necromancer had fucked up their ritual was no joke. He had the distinct feeling he was missing something here and it pissed him off.

The door started rattling as something heavy landed against it. Stephanie rose to her feet and braced herself. The lock was crap and they both knew it. “Wanna switch places, Hood? You’re bigger.”

He laughed bitterly but did as she asked. “What you meant to say was that I’m already a zombie.”

“You are not,” Blondie protested as she resumed his hunt for gasoline. “If you were actually a zombie, you’d need blood to sustain you, plus I don’t see you rushing out for brains.”

“How do you know I don’t eat them scrambled up in my eggs with some hot sauce every morning?” Jason felt more than heard something pushing against the door and he leaned back into it.

“Eww.”

“Breakfast of champions, right there.”

“You’re such an asshole.”

The thump from outside grew louder. Stephanie stopped searching to stand up on a workbench to peek out one of the windows placed just under the roofline. “Shit. Jason, there’s about forty of them out there.”

Forty zombies. What the ever loving fuck was he doing here?

“I’m almost there,” Drake said over the comm. “And I hate to break it to you, but that’s only a small group of them.”

“What the shit?” Jason barely had time to say before he heard a loud whoosh from outside and felt the unmistakable heat from a fire. The inside of the shed lit up and the scent of burning flesh permeated the air.

“Woo-hoo!” Steph cheered, waving her arms wildly in excitement. “Go get ‘em, Timmers!”

There was another loud whoosh and this time, Jason shoved his way up onto the workbench to see what the hell was going on.

The Pretender stood outside breathing actual fucking fire as he mowed down the zombie hoard.

“Holy shit.” Since when was this a thing that Tim Drake did? “How the hell did I not know that guy could breathe fire?”

Blondie laughed at him. “It’s not like he tries to hide it.”

“I tried to kill him twice and he never did that to me.” If he’d done it the first time, Jason was fairly certain he wouldn’t have tried to stab him in the chest the second time.

Drake spun around, and a jet of flame erupted from his mouth, incinerating more zombies that hadn’t quite managed to shuffle away from the new threat. Okay, from the actual threat because Jason was man enough to admit he and Stephanie wouldn’t have done dick unless they’d found something to light up.

“Well, there’s a reason for that,” Stephanie said as she hopped back down to the floor.

“Yeah? What’s that?” Jason asked as he followed after her.

Blondie’s grin grew absolutely devilish as she opened the door to the shed. “Well, you see…”

“Finish that sentence and I will light your hair on fire.”

Jason jerked his head up to see Drake standing in the doorway. He charged up to his replacement. Face to face confrontations were much more his style. “What the hell? Since fucking when do you breathe fire?”

Even under his mask, Jason could tell his replacement was rolling his eyes at him. “I turn into a lizard every full moon, no joke,” Drake stated in a dry voice.

What? Jason took a step back, his gaze raking up and down Drake’s uniformed body. “You’re a werelizard?”

Behind them, Blondie giggled while Drake smirked. “Seriously, Jason? A lizard?”

It dawned on him what they were laughing about. The Pretender’s last name should have been his first clue. “You’re a weredragon.”

The smirk morphed into a rather toothy grin and Jason took note of how much longer Drake’s fangs were from normal people. “Now you’re getting it.”

Okay, well, Jason could accept being a bit slow on the uptake. It wasn’t every day he found out that the one person he no longer actively despised in his family was a goddamned dragon. “That still doesn’t answer my question about why you didn’t try to roast me when I tried to kill you.”

Drake leaned forward and blew a puff of smoke in Jason’s face. “You’re smart. I’m sure you’ll figure it out eventually.”