Okay, so, I could swear I’ve answered this somewhere but for the life of me I can’t find it? (Maybe I just rant about it a lot in private?) So here we go.
I tend to really dislike the trends of where the boys tend to get assigned, and I think it has a lot to do with fanon versions of characters I find frankly inaccurate. I’m sure you’ve seen it. Hufflepuff!Dick, Gryffindor!Jason, Ravenclaw!Tim, and Slytherin!Damian. Sound familiar? (Not everyone, I’ve seen a few others, but this was all I saw for a long time.) Because the hugs! The angers! The smarts! The arrogant little bastard!
I kind of hate it.
Give me a Slytherin Dick Grayson that’s charming and friendly and always has the right words for everyone. Who is wickedly good at spells and quidditch, always buried headfirst in whatever work he has, becomes Prefect in an easy victory, and is the golden boy of the Hogwarts staff. Who is smart and perceptive, and takes care of anyone around him lucky enough to earn his respect. Who is brutal when it comes to cutting down to size the people that don’t, or who dare to hurt the ones he cares about. Willing and fully capable of verbally tearing someone apart, reading people as well as he does.
Give me a Ravenclaw Jason Todd (if we go with post-death Jason characterization, which I prefer) that’s grumpy and mainly unapproachable. Who’s naturally gifted in spells and at the top of most classes, even if he’s got a hell of an attitude and likes to start debates in classes. Who is secretly still awestruck by this world of magic and spells and knowledge and eats up as much of it as he can, learning and perfecting and studying things just because he enjoys it. Who can usually be found in some isolated corner with a book or three, but best not mock him because he’s got a reputation for taking swings at bullies and isn’t remotely afraid of detention.
Give me a Slytherin Tim Drake that’s the actual Slytherin, picture-perfect model. Old family, old money, talented and whip-smart, and fucking ruthless when it comes to protecting what or who he cares about. Maybe he’s small and maybe he’s not physically threatening, but he knows all the little, subtle curses and bits of magic to ruin your day without getting caught. And he works at it, because it doesn’t come so naturally to him. Who stays up late and pushes and pushes to be better than all of his peers, to live up to what’s expected of him and – more importantly – what he expects from himself. (And yet somehow, his very closest friend is a Gryffindor.)
And lastly, give me a Hufflepuff Damian that never expected to be there. Whose whole family (yes I’m including Bruce) has been unquestionably Slytherin and always proud, and that’s what he expects to be. But he’s not. Who’s arrogant and antisocial, until he finds friends that don’t care what his name is, or treat him any differently for it. Who’s fiercely loyal to those friends, and secretly tender around all forms of life that aren’t human. Whose ambition and ruthlessness only comes from being told that’s what he had to want, and who softens and slowly accepts that he can take time and learn who he really is outside of an al Ghul or a Wayne, once he realizes that the people whose opinions he values will still care for him, no matter what house he’s in.
“He always does this, always fixates on Tim’s aperture and it’s probably a bit possessive, this attention Jason pays to the ink that he etched into Tim’s skin but maybe that’s another thing Tim likes a little more than he should.” – “put your pieces back into place” by defcontwo
“But he knows about ‘Blue Jay’, knows because he’d gone through some of Jason’s old notebooks years and years ago, knows that Jason had had plans and sketches of what his life might be like post-Robin, when he grew up like Dick … The boy who wrote them dead and gone and so he’d folded up the notebook and put it away where he’d found them, letting himself out of Jason’s old bedroom never to return to it.” – “put your pieces back into place” by defcontwo
FOR DEFCONTWO WHO…IN DECEMBER WROTE ME A REALLY RAD BIRTHDAY FIC AND I seriously wanted to return the favor BUT I MISSED YOUR BIRTHDAY AND IM SO SORRY ABOUT THAT BUT I HOPE THIS MAKES UP FOR IT! ;m;
THEYRE ALL PICTURES inspired by defcon’s awesome tattoo verse which I loved reading (and rereading) and I TRIED TO DESIGN THE TATTOOS GIVEN TO TIM and I really hope they’re… okay I’m not the best at designing tattoos but it was really fun to do!
THE WAY YOU WRITE THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS SERIOUSLY SOME OF MY FAVORITE, I’M SURE I’VE SAID THIS BEFORE BUT THE WAY YOU balance their personalities with one another (hopefully that doesn’t sound weird) locks me in like you wouldn’t believe, and the way your WRITTEN PROSE IDK WHAT YOU CALL IT (sorry I’m was going to try to be articulate but honestly IDK what I’m saying) IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND DESCRIPTIVE BUT TO THE POINT (LIKE I SERIOUSLY WANT TO DRAW JASON’S TATTOOS ONE DAY ONE DAY) BUT ISN’T BROKEN BY THE DOWN TO EARTH DIALOGUE IS HUFF HUFF LIKE, okay no seriously you’re a great writer please always find the inspiration to write and write on…
(Okay I just reread what I wrote and I’m so embarrassed by how I talk but please find it somehow endearing as I spill my heart out to you)
(PS: IF YOU HAVENT READ DEFCONTWO’S TATTOOVERSE/WRITING PLEASE DO…)
PSS: I ACCIDENTALLY DID THE WRONG QUOTE TO THE WRONG PART, It was something else at first but then I was like “Wait I remember the perfect quote for this…”
This was so fun to think about, seriously you’re awesome and I love you anon ♥️
Damian:
• *looks in the mirror five seconds after the spell hit. gasps* “I’m HIDEOUS!!!”
• Wayne Enterprises employee, smiling brightly: “Good morning Mr. Drake-Wayne. How are you today?”
Damian: “I don’t know but you’re fired.”
• He gets so fed up with having to push Tim’s bangs from his eyes that he resorts to borrowing Cass’ sparkly butterfly hair clips to keep them up and out of his face.
• “Why am I only an inch taller than I used to be? I still can’t reach Pennyworth’s cookie jar even on my tiptoes. You need to grow more, Drake.”
• He finds out why Tim wears long sleeves so often, but he doesn’t say anything to Tim about it. He does file it away for future conversation, though, and he monitors Tim more closely even after the whole incident is over.
• “Damian, why are you chugging an entire carton of milk?”
“Because Drake is too small for me to tolerate any longer. I’m a beanpole. A toothpick. A runt amidst a litter of bats.”
• *goes outside for an hour* “HOW THE HELL AM I SO SUNBURNED??? WHAT ARE YOU, A VAMPIRE???”
• He’s sad when his pets don’t recognize him and run when he tries to pet them. As a solution, he douses his entire body in catnip. Turns out Tim never told him he was allergic to catnip, so that was an interesting discovery.
• He has to drink at least four cups of coffee a day or else he gets sick because at this point Tim is addicted to coffee.
Same goes for normal food. Eating ramen noodles with goldfish and butterscotch pudding is fine, but he ate one (1) apple and his body tried to reject it.
• Ives: “Hey Timbo, what’s up?”
Damian: “Uh….Hello, associate of mine. Feeling very fleek today. Everything is cool beans. Crackalackin.”
Tim:
• “Why are my pecs so huge.” *cups them* “They feel like rock hard muscle melons. Like a cantaloupe filled with pure power. What strong breasticles.”
• He’s amazed by the amount of muscle on Jason’s body and spends most of his time trying to see what stuff he can crush with his bare hands.
*breaks a stick in half* “I AM ALMIGHTY.”
• He braids Jason’s white streak and puns it back with some pink hair clips Steph gave him.
*poses in the mirror* “I’m a buff zombie princess.”
• *on the phone with Roy* “Hey Roy, so remember that secret I told you once and demanded you never to tell anyone else? Yeah, that one. Would you mind explaining it to me in explicit detail, slowly so I can write it all down.”
• *gentle gasp* “I’m allowed to drink alcoholic beverages in this body.”
*later that night after his fifth shot of appletini* “DO YOU EVER JUST THINK ABOUT THE MUPPETS AND CRY??? KERMIT THE FROG MAN, KERMIT THE FROG.”
• He has to wear sunglasses and a hat whenever he goes out because he has to make sure no one in Gotham recognizes the late Jason Todd.
• The first time he sees what Jason’s body really looks like under all the armor and layers, he’s shocked. Jason doesn’t take his shirt off in front of people much because he’s embarrassed by all the scars. Tim tries not to look at them because he knows Jason doesn’t like sharing this detail with anyone, but occasionally he finds himself absently tracing the autopsy scar under his shirt. He has a new respect for Jason after this whole ordeal.
Jason:
• “I feel like an overcooked noodle.”
• Adjusting to how flexible Dick is turns out to be quite the experience. He does the splits with no problem. He swings from a tree branch and lands on the ground as fluid as a leaf. He does four backflips in a row.
Jason, cartwheeling through the room: “Watch as he flips with the greatest of ease, the rad noodle man on the flying trapeze.”
Dick, in his tiny Damian voice: “That’s not even how the song goes!”
• “Why does my mouth taste like ketchup and ice cream 24/7. What do you eat, Dick.”
• At first he thinks it’ll be nice for once, being able to walk around Gotham without worrying about people recognizing him as being a dead man. Turns out, it’s almost worse when he can’t go to a McDonald’s without a bunch of paparazzi and fan girls following him around and begging to take a picture with the hottest Wayne boy.
• He goes to the police precinct for work and is on edge the whole time because this is the first time in years he’s been surrounded by cops who don’t want to arrest him.
• Catcaller: “Hey, nice ass!”
Jason: “Thanks, I got it from my brother!”
• Dick from the next room: “If you smoke in my body and give me cancer I’ll kill you!”
Jason, with a lit cigarette in his mouth: “It’s a metaphor, you see. I died once and I’ll die again because I’m not a fucking coward.”
• After he’s back in his own body: “Hey, I wonder if I can still do all that flipsy shit.”
Later: “So, Master Jason, tell me again how you shattered your collarbone?”
Dick:
• He eats one (1) cheeseburger, but unfortunately forgot about Damian being vegetarian so he winds up getting violently sick because the body he’s in doesn’t accept meat anymore. So that was a learning experience.
• “Why does it physically hurt to smile. Who hurt you, Damian.”
“A bunch of assassins and a psychopath for a grandfather.”
• Damian may be athletic, but he’s nowhere near as stretchy as Dick is used to. He tries putting his leg behind his head and nearly breaks his pelvis.
One upside is he’s far smaller and lighter in Damian’s body, which makes swinging around on the trapeze a breeze. He’s like an Acrobat Barbie doll.
• He has to call Tim for help when he can’t reach his cereal on the top shelf.
Tim, walking into the kitchen half asleep and confused: “Are you one of Santa’s elves?”
Dick, sobbing on the floor: “I CAN’T REACH MY FRUITY PEBBLES”
• He starts crying again later that afternoon because “THIS WEAK ASS BODY CAN’T EAT SRIRACHA WHAT AM I GOING TO DO NOW???”
• He stands in the middle of the room and watches all the adults bustle around: “I am a bean. A tiny chihuahua. A mere flea in a world of elephants and woosles.”
• “If there is one upside to all of this body-swapping, at least I can finally use the Dora the Explorer baby toothpaste without being ridiculed.”
• Jon: “Hi, Dami! What’s up?”
Dick: *to himself* “Hmmm what would Damian say…Oh, I know!”
To Jon: “Salutations, comrade. Photosynthesis. Lackadaisical. The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.”
Beautifuldifferences 